So, you were late from work today, I don't know why your reasoning was, but I believe that you need to be punished for it. For all I know you could have been out with someone else! So here is your punishment, and you deserve it. I'm going to have you listen to, and smell a good amount of my stinky farts! They are going to be extra smelly today, I ate something earlier that didn't agree with me!
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