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I wanted to extend an invitation to my birthday party to you! Except, it's not really for you...it's for how I see you; as a wallet. You see, you'd be really out of place at my party. It's going to be full of hot, smart, socially vibrant, fun, sexy people, and you'd be very out of place. I don't want you watching me laugh with my girlfriends and wishing we would mock your tiny dick, or seeing me with my BF and getting cuckolding fantasies, or having you pop a virgin boner just at the sight of me in a bikini. No no; it's safer if you stay home and just pay for everything. Besides...I know you had plans anyway, right? The same ones you're busy with every day; gooning to my clips