What a time to be alive. I can get online right now and buy as many realistic-looking dildos as I want. Some of which are very, very realistic indeed. But the fact is, no matter how realistic a dildo may look or feel, there will always be something that’s not quite right about it. I want a dick: a real dick. So guess what? You’re going to give me yours. Or, rather, I’m going to take it for myself and you’re going to sit there and let me, no matter how much it hurts. Aren’t you?