GEEZ. You really are lucky that I saved you! Truthfully, you were acting stupid. Call it a hero’s intuition but the way you are gooning out isn’t exactly the best. Your form is all wrong - so wrong, in fact, that my gooner senses pinged out to me so strongly that I knew I had to come and rescue you from yourself and from your habits. This city needs saving, just like you need it, but … I think YOU need it more, gooner. But now that I get a good look at you, something is deeply wrong. I’ve seen this before .. this is goon poison! You won’t be able to control your own actions for the next 24 hours! I need to take you to a safe location and help you work through this. Trust me, I know a problem when I see it. Fortunately for a pumper like you, you’re in good hands. Perfect hands, even. Hm, all you need is some lube and the ability to listen. I’ll show you exactly how to stroke to the best of your abilities. I promise .. it’ll be incredible.