There are always new ways for me to squeeze more money out of your paycheck. With that being said, I am now your new dietician! I have the perfect meal plan laid out for you so you can just make it out alive every day on a shoestring food budget. I take a close look at your itemized receipt and break down each purchase one by one - why you don't deserve it and what I'm replacing it with. Watch my wealth grow as your budget diminishes and you figure out how will you enjoy eating such a paltry, sad diet. Don't be sad about it, think of all the expensive meals I will enjoy while you lap at dollar store food from a bowl on the floor like the beta slave you are.