It's time you gave up on sex completely. At this point, you're a porn addicted, helpless hand-fucker who shouldn't be anywhere near women. It would be better for everyone if you just avoided them completely. Femdom porn has taken over life, in the best way possible. You always felt awkward around women and your porn addiction has just amplified it as well as the ongoing ego-checks. Face it, you aren't fit to fuck, and you would live a much more productive life as a slave than trying to chase women you would inevitably disappoint. So give up on dating, and completely immerse yourself in your addiction.