‌

After two years of working from home because of the pandemic, I'm going back to the office today.. I'm excited! But I'm going to miss you so much honey, and I'll especially miss your delicious snacks. Over the past two years you have truly spoiled me and stuffed me with delicious food, making my job so much more enjoyable.  It feels weird to be wearing my uniform after so long in my pajamas.. I wonder if I'll fit into my work clothes again.. oh my! The answer is no! I can't even zipper up my skirt! What can I do? I've gained so much weight in the past two years and it's all because of your delicious snacks! You made me gain weight and now I don't fit into my uniform anymore, I can't show up to the office like this! Please call them and tell them I'm sick and won't be showing up for the next.. years! I want to continue working from home wearing only comfortable pajamas and eating junk food.. by the way, I'm very sad right now, and when I'm sad I get even hungrier. Why don't you make me something good while I get out of these tight clothes?