"You had the AUDACITY to complain about my farts in front of friends? Oh honey... you just volunteered for odor detention." Now you're trapped between my thighs in this cramped closet, denim stretched tight over my vengeful ass as I methodically ruin the air supply. Each hot blast from my jeans gets louder... wetter... more personal. You'll whimper, but I'll just laugh and press closer - "Breathe deep, honey - this is your apology lesson." When even I can't take the stench anymore? That's when I abandon you in your own private gas chamber. Consider this your face-to-ass reminder: Never. Embarrass. Me. Again. P.S. Try not to pass out before the 7th fart... but no promises.