MEMORANDUM FOR Lake Okana, Head Engineer, Quality Assurance
SUBJECT: Memorandum of Reprimand
l. You are hereby reprimanded. It has been reported to me that despite several verbal and written counselings warning you of your egregious misconduct, you continued to ignore and violate W3stworld’s strict “Deviant Sexual Practices” policy by performing an unauthorized modification to Host #24601 – Nova Patra.
2. Our Spectacular Super HD Security Surveillance Video with advanced Point of View (POV) and In the Crack (ITC) capability clearly shows your Mensa Engineering ass interrogating, copulating, AND perpetrating the “Sin of Sodom” upon this exquisite, Asiatic appliance. You were previously warned on more than one occasion that your sexapades with the hosts exceeded your entitlements under W3stworld’s most generous Employee Benefit Package, yet you have not merely walked in their ways or done according to their abominations; but, as if that were too little, you acted more corruptly in all your conduct than they by smattering your demon seed upon her virtuous visage. Later, when questioned under sacred oath about your conduct, you provided a sworn statement that you knew to be false. Your behavior constitutes a violation of Article 134 for Frotteurization and False Swearing.
3. Your conduct is reprehensible. As a fast burner in our most glorious Company, you have set an extremely poor example for your peers and subordinates and have violated the trust of your superiors. Your misconduct is especially disturbing on the cusp of Missionary Week in the Park. Need I remind you, the Nova Patra unit outperformed ALL the other little fuck toys combined, including Maeve Millay, by double digits this same time last year. Those choir boys make it rain in the “Submissive Prude Insists it’s an Exit not an Entrance” Scenario! And, Bernard just informed me there isn’t enough epoxy on this estate to mend Nova’s now gaping asshole in time!
4. This reprimand is imposed as an administrative measure IAW AR 600-37, and not as punishment under the Uniform Code of Westworld Justice. lt is, however, intended to promptly and directly signal my disapproval of your conduct. I have not determined whether I will direct the filing of this reprimand, but you must be aware that my disposition options include a decision not to file the reprimand, local filing, wage garnishment, as well as filing in the Performance Fiche of your Official Personnel File. I will not make a final determination, however, until I receive and consider any response you may submit. Within ten days of your receipt of this memorandum, you may provide to me, in writing, any information in rebuttal that you wish me to consider. You will acknowledge receipt of this memorandum, by signing and dating the attached memorandum. Submit the acknowledgement and any rebuttal or extenuating and mitigating circumstances through Theresa Cullen, Operations Director, upon her return from her unscheduled and unauthorized leave.
I swear this place is going to kill me!