You had big plans for Valentine’s Day. You and your girlfriend were going to have an extravagant, romantic night out, followed by a private but no less romantic night in. You kept those plans very hush-hush, though. Your stepmother can get kind of…weird about your girlfriends, so the less she knows, the less chance she’ll do something…drastic. But you must not have been sneaky enough. Come Valentine’s Day morning, you find yourself in your stepmom’s spare room wearing a diaper and with a pacifier in your mouth and a rattle in your hand. Your stepmom has completely lost it. She’s calling herself “Step-Mommy” and insisting you’re going to be her little Valentine forever. Is this really your life now? This clip is gender-neutral.