You're such a disappointment, I should just to kick you to the curb right now. Lucky for you, I'm feeling generous enough to allow you the opportunity to redeem yourself - and to be rewarded, if you do well. You must complete every task FLAWLESSLY, though, or you will cease to exist to me. You can't live without me, so I know you'll do everything you can to prove you're still worthy of serving me. You will need the following implements for your tasks: Speculum or funnel Hot sauce Can of soda Sounding tools LOTS of rubber bands Whip, phone charger cable, or shoelace Clothespins Electrowand Dildo