We all know that the only way you'll ever be a part of My life is if you're serving the most BASIC of functions! Unfit to gaze upon Me in any other context, become mesmerized by My penetrating glare and juicy, perfect ass as I introduce you to your new home, toilet face. That's right, I'm going to turn you into My nasty little appliance that worships and disposes of My precious bodily waste! Doesn't that sound like the job for you? After all, you do get an office with an unbeatable view--and so if that means you'll be living of My champagne and caviar from now on, you'd be HONORED to be considered--isn't that right? Open your mind to My orientation instructions and get used to seeing things from this perspective because congratulations!--you are now on the slippery slope to human toilet slavery--the ultimate ruination of the useless human male