This is my first session with you as a personal trainer, but it becomes very clear very quickly that you are very out of shape and way fatter than what I'm used to seeing. I try to take your weight, but the scale errors out (not that you could see that past your massive belly). I then ask some general questions about your health and exercise history, and I'm shocked to hear that you used to do sports just a few years ago. With how out of breath you got just waddling to the scale and back, you certainly could've fooled me. I then take you through some basic exercises to get an idea of what you can do--spoiler alert, it's not very much. I try my best to keep my mouth shut, but eventually I get so frustrated with how poorly you're doing that I can't hold it back anymore. I berate and insult you for being so fat and unhealthy, but then I get an idea: I could use you to motivate my other clients into working harder so they don't end up as big and fat and pathetic as you, like an anti-mascot--it's genius! Contains brief mention of medical problems and other anti-fat language