You have always been in the friend zone, haven't you? You have always been unwanted and undesirable to girls. You were born to be stuck in the friend zone. And, I'm going to make sure you're stuck in the friend zone until the day you die. You're going to repeat 5 degrading affirmations to make sure you're stuck in the friend zone forever. You will not escape. Repeat after me, 'My only sex life is fucking my hand to the thought of being in the friend zone.''. There we go, fuck your hand to the thought of being in the friend zone for the rest of your life.