"Oh honey, you really haven’t been feeling well the past few days, have you? In fact, you’ve been getting worse and worse! Since you are too weak to speak anymore, I might as well spill the beans: I’ve been slipping a little powder in your morning coffee for days now! By tomorrow morning you’ll be too weak to move. I’ve taken the liberty of fixing your will to ensure that I get everything. I’m glad your affairs are in order since this is goodbye. I’ll make sure to fuck not one, but two of your hottest friends right after the funeral right here in our marriage bed. I can’t believe I lost my hottest years with you. You never really appreciated me anyway. You know, you never did ask about my first husband or the fancy car I used to drive. It’s all water under the bridge anyway! Goodnight, sweetheart, you won’t be seeing me again."