Can you believe it, babe? We're finally married! I can't wait to enjoy our wedding night together as man and wife...you've been so, so patient, after all. I've been making you wait because I just really wanted to make sure our first time is special, even though I've been indulging in other lovers. A girl has needs, after all. Do you want to know what's really sexy? That big, fat life insurance policy you just signed, the one that names me as the sole beneficiary. Should you meet an untimely end (Goddess forbid!), you can rest easy knowing that I will be able to continue living the lavish, spoiled life we both know I deserve! And tomorrow morning, I'm going to cook you up a delicious breakfast. I have some extra special secret ingredients to add, so you'd better be sure to eat every last bite! It'll be so good, I swear you'll think you've d!ed and gone to heaven. The viewer is assumed to be a man. Follow Me on Twitter @AllForArelia.