I know you losers are obsessed with my smelly sneakers, and all the filth and dirt that's on the bottoms. "Everything you step in is blessed, Goddess Zephy!" I know. But I also don't need any crud getting on my nice floors, so I installed a human doormat. Now I can wipe the bottom of my shoes clean on it's tongue when I arrive home! I leave my reeking little socks and stinky sneakers on it's face when finished. Wonder what all I've stepped in...