Honey, it is our anniversary! I am so excited to give you a gift. Maybe it's the new video game you wanted! Haha, just kidding. It's my REAL boyfriend's USED CONDOM. That's right, I made him save his load for a week so you could eat up his used condom. I was only with you for the gifts and dates. You are so boring, I would never actually want to date you. I can't believe you've already introduced me to your friends, it'll be so embarrassing telling them that I already broke up with you! Or, I can pretend to be your girlfriend under a few conditions. You will eat my boyfriend's condom every month! You will buy me whatever lingerie or purse I want. You will treat me to the most luxurious dinners. But you aren't really my boyfriend, you're my cucked condom eater!