You've always been such a weirdo around your daughter's best friends. Athena and I have tagged along on numerous f a m i l y vacations over the years and we've definitely caught your lingering eyes on more than one occasion. Those tiny bikinis are such a dangerous distraction for someone your age... We always knew you were a perv but we did NOT expect was to find you kneeling in front of our suitcases with our dirty panties practically shoved up your nostrils. We caught you red handed. Good thing I happened to have my digital camera handy when we walked into the room and saw what you were doing.... Now you have a decision to make. Set up a direct deposit with some monthly hush money for Athena and I, or do nothing and have your life completely ruined. In other words, you can kiss that precious relationship you have with your daughter (and wife) goodbye! We know you'll make the right choice ;)