Thank you for coming in early this morning. I've been wanting to discuss your performance. Clearly you haven't been living up to your standards. I know you're capable of more. I don't know if something is going on in your personal life, like you're not being fulfilled, and therefore not able to do your job properly, but I'm here to help you. As your boss, I'm here for you both personally and professionally. If I had to guess, I think you've probably not having enough sex. Is that accurate for you? It's pretty obvious to me that this is the case. Here's what we're going to do, you're going to take your pants off and I'm going to let you watch me and masturbate while I masturbate. You are not to tell anyone about this, is that understood?