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You’ve accepted that you won’t have a partner/ romance buddy/ company in general today…but you look forward to at least jerking with me in lieu of normal holiday companionship. Tough luck because although i’m happy to instruct your tug, I want you to get more blue than ever with me, for me. Someone like you is single for a reason, and clearly i’m the cream of the crop. Tug to superiority and stay boldly blue for me on this day of love, as it should be, until I give you the release you *thought* you wanted, but you ruin it…as is expected.