You want Me to tell you how to jerk off? Ugh, fine, whatever... I just really don't care about your dick. This is pretty boring for Me... Maybe we can make things a little more interesting. You wanted Me to tell you how to jerk off, so you'd better do what I tell you to! The more it hurts you, the more fun it is for Me. And My enjoyment is what really matters here, right? You will need: Lemon juice and/or hot sauce Hair ties or rubber bands A paddle hair brush, flat shoe/flip flop, or other similar item A bobby pin, toothpick, pencil, or other similar item Ability to follow directions and not wimp out