You're laying in bed, scrolling social media with your dick out, when your wife walks in. I know immediately what you're up to. You're relapsing on your porn addiction again, aren't you? I know exactly the sort of girls you're watching, too. It's always such a porny cliché with you. Cute blondes in pigtails. Gorgeous long-haired brunettes in cheerleader costumes. Slutty school girls twerking. It's all so cringey and embarrassing. You're so predictable. These girls dress like that, act like that, because they know old perverts like you will pay. You're literally the stereotype of the horny, creepy old men they know watch their content. You realize they're only making videos to lure you to their payment links, right? Like surely you're not so stupid you haven't realized you're being used. You're so blinded by your own disgusting addiction, you're gooning yourself right into a financial black hole. I can't believe I ever married someone so pervy and dumb.