I think we need to have a little chat. Our relationship has been…well, a little unbalanced. It’s too much about you, too little about me. And I’ve thought of the perfect way to fix that. You’re going to give me something I’ve always wanted. A dog! No, not a real one. You know I’m allergic. No, YOU’RE going to be my dog. I’m so excited; I’ve already bought a collar and some food. Shh, don’t argue. You want to make me happy, don’t you? Then let me be your master. I’m going to make you into my sweet, loyal puppy—and we’re going to start tonight