It's been a while since we've seen each other! I know that the holiday season can be hectic, but I'm glad we made time for each other. I think you owe me one of your world famous foot massages, mister. Here, I'll put them in your lap and you can rub them while we catch up! You'll never believe who I slept with recently - yes! HIM! I know! I think I've fucked every single one of your friends except you at this point. I mean, I tried to fuck you years ago, don't you remember? You invited me a party in college, but then your really hot roommate kinda swooped in and stole me away from you. I bet you remember how loud we were when we were fucking in your bedroom, don't you? I'm sure you jerked off to it out in the living room - I know all about this denial fantasy of yours! I'll tell you what...let's make a little deal...