After meeting on a popular dating app, I offer My date a special cocktail. Fizzle Fizzle. He wakes up, clothing strewn across the sofa, fully bound to the coffee table. "I am getting laid tonight sweetheart and by the way, ready or not, I F1ST on the first date. Just relax and understand, Im a woman and I have urges that MUST be satisfied. I could see how badly you wanted Me when I pressed into you. This is why they make these dating apps anyways. If you didn’t want it, you wouldn’t have worn those slutty short when we met, would you? I have inhalants to help you relax. Take a big sniff."