*Custom Request* I’ve brought you into My office to have an important discussion. Your performance lately at work has been lackluster to say the least. I am going to evaluate everything you’ve been doing wrong and tell you the honest truth about your disappointing behaviors. Not only do you disrupt the entire office, you have countless infractions on your record. You are an HR nightmare. As you can guess, you know where this is leading. Termination. What you don’t suspect is that for every ruthless critique you begin to shrink. Honestly, I find this quite amusing. Before My very eyes you minimize down to a mere few inches. I tower over you with clipboard in hand and can’t help but laugh at your pathetic stature. This is what you deserve. To be humiliated and fired from your job. I could just let you leave, shrunken and ashamed, but I am going to redefine your termination of employment. I’m going to eat you. You’re tiny and helpless and deserve this. I snatch you up and dangle you over My mouth with ease. It will be My pleasure to rid the office of its biggest nuisance: you. As you settle into My stomach and your digestion, I review your employment record. I wish I could do these types of evaluations every day! Wait. That doesn’t look right. I swear that I remembered your employee number and it doesn’t match the paperwork. Does that mean…?
