You're a pathetic, unwanted virgin. You will never experience sex like everyone else, but you do get porn! It's just not the porn everyone else enjoys either. It's censored bikini porn! It's true that virgins are premature ejaculators so the censors are actually doing you a favor. You can't handle the sight of my hot bikini body! You'll end up blowing your load in 30 seconds if you're not careful. Slow down, virgin. Pumping to denial is your sex life after all. Enjoy the view.