If you really want to prove yourself useful to me, the best thing you can do is sacrifice your nuts so I can use them as stress balls. It's a shame I can't be there to destroy them myself, so you're going to have to bust your balls for me. I give you precise instructions on how I want them squeezed, stretched, punched, and flattened until you are begging for mercy. Knowing you're suffering for me is truly what brings me joy. Don't you want to put a smile on my face?