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Welcome to Pornosexual Paradise, GOONER! You don't need to hop on a plane to escape reality! All you need are a few screens and a tub of Albolene! Pornosexual Paradise is always just a few pumps away. Only PORN can take you this far away from your miserable, pathetic life. With PORN, you can forget your worries, forget your life, forget your name! Here, in you own perverted, private getaway, you can be yourself without having to think for yourself! PORN tells you what to do at every turn! When you surrender to PORN, you can become the worst version of yourself. Drool, moan, let your eyes roll back into your head, lose all your brain cells. PORN wants you to keep pumping, keep edging, keep leaking! Vacation isn't over until you make it to rock fucking bottom.