You really shouldn’t have come home with me on that night out because you had no idea what you were about to get yourself into… as you’re sitting in my lounge you realise that something is not quite right and that dr*nk I gave you wasn’t just water. You are mummified and kept extremely still as I blow smoke in your face, use you as my ashtray and are made to lick my high heels clean only to realise that my plan for all along was that you would not leave my front door. Ever.