If you struggle with your weight, like me, the holidays can be tough. So many tasty desserts and scrumptious dinners. Which is why so many of us eventually admit defeat and use the holidays as an excuse to indulge in our less-than-healthy food cravings, like the huge cinnamon roll I’m binging on now. But you don’t know about that, do you? You never deny yourself the chance to stuff yourself. Unlike me, who’s curvy but not obese, you’re a blubberous, fat fuck—albeit a lovely one, to feeders like me. But you can use the holidays as an excuse too. Indulge with me, and let’s see if we can put a few more fat rolls on you this holiday season