You've been so confused lately. I mean, here you are, a supposedly straight man, but you've been watching so much gay porn. That's not very straight of you, is it? I'm here to guide you on your path because I know what you truly are, even if you're not ready to admit it to yourself. You're a faggot, but you can keep the label “Straight” as long as you'd like, as long as you explore your true gay self.