After I return from the doctor in a bad mood, you—my boyfriend of almost a year—want to know what’s wrong. I got lectured on my weight, that’s what’s wrong! Apparently I’ve gained forty pounds in the last year, and my doctor lectured me on the perils of weight gain. I knew I gained a little bit of weight, but not THAT much! And on the way home, I was thinking about how I could have gotten so much chubbier when I realized… You! You’ve been feeding me up intentionally, haven’t you? Always taking me to dinner, encouraging me to eat more and to indulge, rubbing my tummy while we cuddle. Look at the fat I’ve gained! My big belly and ass, my love handles, my floppy tits. I hope you’re satisfied, because I’m so embarrassed