fter the UK election I wanted to do something silly and messy to lift everyone's spirits, and this was the result. I introduce myself by explaining for some of our non-British viewers what's happened politically and reveal that I've never been pied by anything other than shaving foam and this will be my very first proper food splosh! Each Tory seat that was lost means a pie for me, so I eye up the pile of paper plates warily before announcing the first constituency and splat! I get a faceful of whipped cream and jam which immediately messes up my hair and gets all over my glasses, face and cleavage. A few more splats and my tight low cut blue dress is already looking a bit worse for wear – but then my friend Estella surprises me with a plateful of custard too! The yellow looks great against my Tory-blue dress and when I have lemon curd rubbed across my boobs everything starts to get very slippery and sticky. I complain about how messy I am but as it's all for charity I've got no choice but to carry on. Estella is really giggly because I look like such a mess and I can't stop laughing as I have pies rubbed in my face, slapped between my legs and across my bum and have custard poured all over my black tights and feet. I rub my feet into the mess on the floor and even pull my dress up so that I can have cream, custard and marshmallow fluff poured into my knickers – this is definitely one of the most ridiculously slapstick things I've ever done! By the end of all 32 pies I am completely trashed and have given up wearing my glasses because of the thick coat of cream and custard on my face. My lovely blue dress is unrecognisably smeared and you can barely even tell that my tights were black before