The real reason you will remain a virgin is not what you think it is. And I know you have had all kinds of thoughts about that. I mean, after all this time of fucking that hand pussy, the rejection and the tears I know you've cried, you still haven't figured it out! I'm going to help you. Sure I am! Because I want you to know why you'll be pussy-free for life and I want you to find a place of acceptance once and for all that being a beta virgin hand-humping loser forever (for me) is the best thing that could happen to a boy like you. Humiliation is unavoidable. Masturbation is essential. Your sexless existence is the inevitable.