Don’t let the bathrobe fool you—I’m far from clean. I haven’t showered in days, and my stomach’s been quite active, if you catch my drift. I was even generous enough to prepare your breakfast this morning. You’re nothing more than my toilet paper—a filthy little ass cleaner. That’s your job, your duty, and the filthier, the better. It’s an honor to be my brown-noser, and I’ve even got a fresh, pungent brew for you to wash it down with. Full of vitamins, of course. Such a lucky toilet!