Your life is basically one long goon session. Gooning is compulsive for you. Even if you try to do something else, it's like you black out and then find yourself in one of your go-to goon spots, whether it be your car, your work bathroom, your bed. Your gay porn compulsion is just a stepping stone to gooning with real cock. You can tell yourself you're not a faggot, but your behavior indicates otherwise- It's just a matter of time before your compulsion ends with you getting fucked by and sucking cock like the faggot you are.