I wasn’t expecting to bring home a new puppy tonight, but when I saw you at the play party, looking so thin and dejected and lonely, I knew you needed my attention. Your last owner didn’t treat you right, did she? That’s all right. You’ve got me now. The first thing you need to know, though, is that I have no use for a skinny puppy. I like them fat and lazy, pillowy to snuggle with, funny to watch waddle around—not skin and bones like you are, you poor thing. So we’ve got a lot of work to do to feed you up. You’re going to do everything I say and be a good, chubby puppy for me, aren’t you? Yes? Then let’s get started