Last time you were in my office it was begging me not to fire you and I guess to your credit you have improved a lot since then. But to show up today asking for a promotion? That is bold. I’m not completely sure you have proved to me you want it badly enough. Of course, there are lots of reasons why you should want it – better office, higher pay – that girl at reception you keep flirting with might finally respect you. However, if you want it, you need to get down on your knees and kiss my ass. No, literally kiss it. Get right in close to it. Lick it clean of all the sweat that comes with it being 4pm. Oops, sorry – but hey, if you want this promotion badly enough you should be willing to swallow my farts too, right? How did that taste huh? How does it taste to beg me?