Welcome to the gooner gym, where I find out what you’re made of. I’m not just here to tease you - I’m here to train you. Dressed in my tight little gym outfit and tiny, skintight shorts, I take total control of your edge tolerance with my strict, unforgiving metronome. Speed up. Slow down. Every tick is a command. Every second is a test. You’re not stroking for pleasure, you’re stroking for obedience. You'd better keep up. This isn’t a casual jerk session. This is gooner bootcamp.