LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THESE FLOWERS! I come home one day as one of my neighbors is leaving and she’s like, “Hey, do you want some flowers?” She says this guy sent her a bunch of flowers but she doesn’t want them from him so she was just going to throw them in the dumpster. Stone. Cold. (Steve Austin) Obviously I’m like, “Heck yeah I want some flowers!” Let me tell you, they were gorgeous. I should really buy flowers more. But anyway, the first thing I think of after putting them in a vase is that I should really make some porn with them (because of course that is any sane person’s first thought). So I did. Here is some porn with a guest appearance by my flowers (they also played a supporting role in “The Honeymoon Suite”). I masturbate in the bathtub. That’s, uhhhhh, really all there is to it, so that’s why I provided the flower backstory. But it’s a good video if you want to get a more intimate view of me relaxing and pleasuring myself