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You've come to see me because you are having issues with a dry penis. Though I understand that the treatment and the conversation will give you an erection, you must try to control yourself. I need to apply a prescription lotion to your penis and also need to vigorously massage it. Please do not become overexcited. I do have to stop at times to help you, and I also engage in random small talk towards the end like you'd have at the barber's, to calm you down a little.