For my dedicated feedees out there, I have a question. Can you really, honestly say that you’ve worked for me? Because after considering the methods you’ve used to gain the weight for me that you have, I don’t think you’ve been pushing yourself hard enough. Fried foods, sugary foods, fattening foods—you’ve chosen the easiest, laziest route for gaining. I want you to challenge yourself. I want to see you pack on the pounds in the most unpleasant, arduous way you possibly can—by eating ‘healthy.’ Think you’re up for it? Be warned: this is really, really not going to be easy or fun. But you’re going to do it for me anyway, aren’t you