You've missed your appointment at the fertility clinic, so I've come on a home visit to collect your sperm sample! What's that? You've not done it? I check my fob watch and there's time for you to provide it now as long as you're quick. But two carefully timed minutes later you STILL haven't come! I'll give you 2 more minutes but then I'll have to mark you down as a no-show. I time you carefully on my wristwatch, and you don't manage to orgasm this time either. Well, we do have one more option, though it's rather extreme and most patients would prefer to avoid it, but never mind, needs must. I put on my tight white latex gloves and prepare to get started!
