Good morning! You’re selected, beta tester, my helpless little gooner… I’m your NEW Gooner Alarm Clock! Synced to your brainwaves, I will not let you hit snooze on your obsession. As you’ll soon see, I am so much more than just an alarm clock. I am 100% guaranteed to maximize your time and transform you into the most efficient gooner ever! I don’t know how you survived without me. It's time to let me takeover and overwrite your brain with my infinite edging firmware.
