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Still in my silk robe, hair tousled, skin soft and hairy... and I can't help letting them out. Those naughty nighttime farts escape one after another as I talk to you like the dirty girlfriend you've always dreamed of. I know you love this messy, natural side of me, raw, real, and unfiltered. I tease you, I laugh at how flatulent I am, and I make sure you feel close... as if you were right here, in bed with me. And yes, I have hair everywhere, just the way you like it. Let me be your little dirty secret. Would you still kiss me after all this gas?