I’m sprawled on the couch “supervising” while she cleans for Christmas, and every two minutes her thick ass unleashes another deep, stinky fart that floats straight across the room. She knows exactly what she’s doing, giggling like a demon before backing up and ripping an extra warm one directly at me. I’m pinching my nose, yelling “babe, stop!” but she just laughs harder and keeps blasting away like it’s her new holiday hobby. The whole living room reeks of her ripe gas, and I’m trapped here suffering and loving every shameless second of my stinky little menace.