Look, dude, we have to talk. Your wife and I have been friends for years, and I’m usually happy to listen to her problems. But she will NOT shut up about you, and I’m sick of it. Every time she and I speak anymore, I have to hear about how small she thinks your dick is. For the record, I’m sure it isn’t small. It’s just that she was a virgin when you got married, and— What? It’s a common complaint you’ve gotten? Well…okay, that’s awkward, but size doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. It’s about communication and position and all that just as much as about length and width. Oh, no, you don’t have to take your cock out! I don’t need to see it, it’s totally— Oh. My. God. Your wife wasn’t wrong, was she? It’s tiny