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You want to know why you keep coming back? Because the things you keep trying to run from and get rid of are a core part of who you are. Every time you try to deny who you are, the desire and need grows stronger. The more you deny it, the more it continues to get worse and more inescapable. The only way to control it, is to learn to give in and live with it. You need to learn to coexist with your desires. Learn to accept it. Give in. Allow yourself to be honest. Those fetishes and kinks. They can't be banished from you, ever, so learn how to make them something you can have. If you keep purging, it'll only make the binge that much more intense. Learn that you have more control when you stop trying to control it. Learn from me why you keep coming back